Faith

So today we had church and it was really good and LA our pastor asked us to start praying for a certain group of people. Well I have found myself praying for Pregnant ladies and well Cocaine Ladies. I am also praying for children that are up for adoption, I pray each night for out future child, only God knows if we will have our own baby or if our child is alive right now living somewhere else.

I always wonder about religion and yeah I am awful for it sometimes I feel like what the heck am I doing? First off I am anti bible, I hate when people throw scripture at you FOR GOODNESS SAKES!! Mary was 12 when she had Jesus 12 DID you see that 12!!! Like this is now a days, we eat pork, we get tattoos and we pierce our bodies. We wear shoes and we drive cars, we don't ride donkey's or camels. Do I question my faith yes all the time, can I feel God not really. Today during worship they sang How Great is our God! Yes I believe in him and he is wonderful but then there is times I sit back and think why would a Great God allow suffering and pain that we go through. God has a plan for us but God also gave us brains and a hear to have our own plan to. I only listen to Christian music, why because I find peace with it and enjoy it.

But I do and will always pray even when I feel like I am living a fake life. I would love to have a debate with someone on the bible because really we don't follow over half and then those who throw some scripture out it drives me mental.


Anyways on a good note tomorrow I need to call the Call dealership and get a piece for our van and the guy who lives above us is going to fix it for us for free! Yahoo I am super excited about that!

Evan and I bought flowers the other day and we bought tulips and Gerber daisy's. I actually love the tulips, I want more! Maybe on Friday when I go to the dr's!

I need to work out this week, I am hoping to swim tues/wed and thursday

I am hoping for more energy this week.

Prayer for the night

God
I thank you for who you are and what you do, even though times like now I am lost and do not feel you. I try hard but its tough God where are you? I Can't feel you and I feel so lost.

God I pray this week we get an answer for the adoption that we can get on with it. The lady is super busy right now God and I hope that she gets time to start with us. But God I pray for Alana as she is hopefully getting her daughter, I pray for Alana financial wise while she is gone to spend the time with her daughter.

God I pray for Stacey and For Samantha, who are being blessed with 4 babies and 2 babies. I pray you be with them and the babies they need another 10 weeks God I pray the babies stay in for that long.

God I pray for all the ladies in this world who are addicted to Cocaine and for those who are pregnant to be with those little babies. But also to be with them that they can over come their addiction and get the help they need.

God, I pray for Evan and I and our future child either a baby we might conceive or a child who will be born by another lady or a child that is already born. God I pray you be with that child and bless them and keep them safe. Bless their hearts oh God.

God I pray for Evan and I, we each struggle with our own problems Lord, I pray together we can keep staying strong for eachother. After watching the Movie Fire proof Lord I pray that our fire will keep burning, God I pray you throw some Gas on it and make the fire higher.

God one last prayer, for my brother as he goes to see the dr tomorrow. I pray for a safe trip and for knowledge on the DR.

Amen