Reason for this blog

So I don't have children and I have a very boring life. A life that deals with fertility issues, stresses and obesity. I have been thinking about starting a new blog about weight issues and about prayers to God, I want to spend much more time in prayer and for me writing it out helps me. But I decided this blog is my life and so here I will start it all.

Weight,

I struggle with weight issues, I need help, I am lazy and well I have issues with my right leg after breaking it and my back it hurts after being in a trampoline accident. So I need lots and lots of help. And I need to do it, I thought about Gastric By pass surgrey which would help me, but if you watch the Biggest Loser there is a man on there that had it done and it failed ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Anyways I need to go swimming 3 times a week but I need motivation.

Prayers,
I believe in God and try to make him a priority in my life, its tough I try to pray but I feel like I am one of those hyprocrits where they only pray when something bad happens or when they need God.

Well I need God every day.. I am going to post a prayer every day here, I have a hard time reading the bible, I just dont want to follow it as it was written many years ago, dont get me wrong I love God and love Jesus and I believe Jesus is the son of God. But the things in the bible, its crazy it goes back way back when and not it todays times. I hate that Christian's judge about Gays and anything else that is Wrong in the Bible, would it be wrong in God's eyes today? Who knows but do we have the rights to judge NO. So I am very on the edge with the bible and could careless about reading it, does it make me a bad Christian, In my eyes NO, in your eyes Maybe. But there we go judging again. So anyways I know I need to pray more and spend more time in prayers. Things happen and I believe God is a big part of them.

Prayer:
God I ask that you open mine and Evan's eyes Lord to see what you hold for us, what we should be doing Lord. My heart tells me so many things but when I think of it I don't know what to do. My dream Lord and my wants and needs is to have a baby, a baby of my own and a baby to adopt Lord. I want to adopt a child who needs a loving home and loving fun parents, I want a child who has special needs but I am not supported anywhere else for this as we live in a small town that can't support a child with needs as the government has cut back to many things. I have parents who want us to have a normal child. But God even our own child could have special needs.

God please help me to fill out requirements to solve all the adoption ideas I have, and for Evan to be on the same track and Lord I ask that you help us to find a child that is our forever child. Lord I also ask that you help me to conceive a child of my own, a child that Evan and I created with you Lord. A piece of each of us.

Lord right now I just pray for that forever Child that you have for us, that you be with them if they are already born and to bless them and that you be with us and help us with our treatments when we start them. I pray for the child's parents. Lord I pray that you be with me and keep me strong on the days that are tough. Its tough to fight this battle. Its tough to know that their is a child out there that no one is holding tight tonight and for me who desperately wants a child and how hard it is. And there is that parent who has the one night stand and gets knocked up, and goes through drugs for 9 months and that poor child is placed in a foster home and is in need of lots of help for its addiction.

God please help me to understand the hurt/pain/sadness that I am feeling today that I can not conceive a child naturally. God its all I ever wanted to be is a mother and I just ask for your help in this.

Lord I lay this all down to you!

In your name we pray Amen!