YAHOOO

So I got a new lap top! Its a nice one I like it, Evan is great!

Next weekend we are going to New York City!! Yahoo I am so excited it will be great to get away!

Other then that nothing new!

Ugh Laptop!

Watch out for the laptop!

So today I had put the laptop on the couch, Evan went and closed it and left it but had moved it more to the edge of the couch, well Howie came and jumped on the laptop scratched Evan to while I yelled grab and Evan yelled as Howie scratched him.. So my laptop landed on the side where the plug is great no big deal.......... BUT IT IS!! You know How the laptop is a male and has a penis and the plug is a girl and has a vagina well not anymore the laptop is also a women :( the plug is broken. So I am going to take it in tomorrow to see if they can fix it. I am so sad. But if not and if they charge me then I will buy a new one there is a sweet one on sale right now at Future shop.

Thank goodness for a desktop computer even though it sucks!

So that is what happend today

Life really sucks at times!

So today is a bad day for my family my moms bestfriend is going to the paliet care in the hospital and won't be coming home unless God gives her a miricle and heals her body from all the cancer if not she will probably pass with in the next month. Its really upsetting to all of us and I really don't get to say goodbye as I live so far away its so tough.


But on goodnews my uncle had a quad by pass on monday, Evan and I are going to Hamilton at 4 today to visit him and go for dinner as its my cousins birthday. My uncle is doing well but hasn't bounced back he is doing slower then when my dad had his surgrey.

The last couple of weeks I feel so blah just I want to puke if I don't eat and I am so tired. And I have to work all weekend booooo...

Anyways thats all for now

Reality

Well Reality sunk in, I am the problem. I got tests done a week ago to see if I ovulated and no such luck. I am pretty upset about this even though I am happy its me and not Evan but its killing me inside. Its pretty tough to deal with this. I know its simple and might be able to be fixed with clomid but what if it doesn't. What if I can't have children?? My bestfriend told me she would give me her eggs but still I want my own I want to Ovulate and have my own child and carry it and to see what an Evan and Denise baby would look like. Even though I am okay with adoption I still don't have that closure yet, I really do want to see what our baby would look like and thats what kills me.

So I need to get my butt in gear and lose weight and then come january start the clomid drug and just pray for no triplets or sextuplets oh man.

So if you wouldn't mind praying for us that we can conceive it would be great.

How can one be so selfish?

How can a person be so slefish that they would take their life at 18 years old? How can a person counsel a person to take their life? That is sick! So Evan's cousins friend/gf was found in the river this past weekend. Its very sad but also better that they have closure.

Bringing me to my next thing about confidentiality with Doctors yes I know she was 18 and an adult but to give a single female girl who lives in resident a drug that side affects are suicide, thats not okay! The laws need to be changed! And for the school's they found her passed out a few times on campus from drinking so much and she had razor blades on her a few times! Why wouldn't someone contact her parents.

i am not blaming the university at all but someone should have known about her and what was going on with her to even make the phone call to mom and dad. She went home a week before she went missing and the father did say she was not her self and stressed but didn't feel she was that bad no because she hid it and now that poor father is blaming himself over this. Ugh its so sad!

Then there is my Christian beliefs coming out which bugs me the most is that everyone on the facebook group all have picture from Heaven and saying Nadia is watching down on us. She is with God. Why would God choose to take this beautiful angel? Ugh its frustrating!

Anyways life is tough at times but not tough enough to ever cause so many people pain. And I am sad for Luc as he and Nadia had a fight the day before she went missing and now he has to live with this for the rest of his life, he is only 19. Life is not fair.