Random thoughts

Have you ever found yourself trying to tell a totally different friend about something in your life and you think they should know all about it?

That is me, 5 years ago I got married to a wonderful man and well we had to move across Canada 40 hours away so I did leave alot of my life behind back home. I have a few true friends still and there is one that we are true but time change and everything we don't talk enough.. i finally got her to join facebook, anyways this friend and me have been friends for a long time and I still have her wedding present on my wall that says on it B.F.F are we?? Its a tough call why because when I was in the 12th Grade she lived with a dear friend who let her work for her and anyways brought in a male and my friend and this male started a relationship well this male was nothing but trouble stole, drugs...everything. She finally ended it thank god! I had a feeling to call her mom one night and she was there we talked hung out and then started to hang more and more but then I moved home 2 hours away.. then I moved 42 hours away from her.. I still consider her my good friend. I was talking to her yesterday and I was like yeah so you know Callista, I have her all summer. I had to stop and say wait she doesn't know Callista she doesn't know any of my *NEW* life.

It really makes me sad that I can't introduce my friends to my friends and that I live so far away.

In Highschool I had a best guy friend Matthew I liked him but my bestfriend (still my bestfriend to this day) loved him and dated him but screwed it up big time in grade 12 and well we haven't seen him since grad, he just had a baby girl I am happy for him but would love to see him and hear from him. I talked to him in 2004 that was the last time when I moved to Ontario.

Now for my two bestfriends well one has 3 kids and the other just got married, we have all stayed in contact not lots but we have, but I still feel like I have lost alot of my life not being close by them. My one bestfriend has had two babies I never got to see her pregnant never got to be there to see her give birth I am never around.

Then there is my brother well he is 6 years older then me and he live in nova Scotia for all his life until last may when my parents were talking about retiring and moving out here well he wrecked that and moved home and has a baby girl. I have seen her once and that was all.

IT SUCKS! I do like my life in Ontario I have met friends, close ones and ones that you think are your friends then stab you in the back. It sucks I had to give up my friends to get new ones but thats okay.

the number 1 thing that sucks I can't hop in my car and drive home it takes 40 hours.

I always get to the breaking point where I want to move home, but then I would start all over again.

We use to be close to Evan's family but I don't even find that anymore we hardly talk to any of them even his aunts who I use to talk to all the time not at all anymore. We went back to wainfleet this past weekend and the last time I saw all his aunts and Grandparents was last august, we saw his parents at Easter when all Hell broke lose but there isn't a connection anymore. I see them once a year and I lvie 2 hours away I might as well move to BC and I will see them once a year. hmmm oh the joys I dunno Evan looks for Jobs In Calgary at times. maybe one day we can more home!

Until that day here I am in Ontario making new friends and making a life I am sure I will have to leave one day.