tough times

So I have been thinking about this for a week now and its tough its on my mind maybe because I want to be a mother one day, and I can just see the pain and sorrow that this family is dealing with.

Evan has a cousin named Luc and Luc's friend has been missing since March 9th 2008, how does one Vanish? She had a fight with a few people that day and talked about ending her life in an email. She took her diary and phone and skates, She told her roomate she was going skating but at 11:30 at night? When Ottawa had a big snow storm?

Anyways the thing is Luc was involved in a fight with her and now alot of people on facebook blame him. I feel awful for Luc. I hope Nadia returns home and appologizes to Luc for now his reputation is bad.

I know people have mental problems and this is the case in this, she was depressed and was taking meds, well obivously she stopped the drugs or they made her dissapear. Evan has an uncle who has dissapeard and was a different person and ran away from his home. But Robin was not in college and had his own house and car so he was able to. Where Nadia either has to be in some city living on the streets or is being hidden from someone and if that someone is keeping Nadia they need to contact her parent. Nadia's dad does look that the worst could have happend, she could have killed herself and is under the snow but its melting and people have searched everywhere. And as people say if someone is going to kill themselves they will do it close so they are found.

I reall truely Pray that Nadia comes home and that her and Luc can work out their problems. But I want Nadia to come so people can stop blamming Luc and for the parents also they feel awful. They feel guility.

Cry cry cry!

Yesterday Evan and I was at the mall and there was a teeny tiny baby, I thought about it and I want a baby and its killing me I want a baby now ugh why can people have children who don't want them but people who are hurting inside because they want a child so bad and can't. I DON'T GET IT! I don't get why.. Yes in time God will provide but seriously what about that baby that is born today to a drug addict and is now in Foster Care, why did God choose to give her a baby when she can't even care for the child, but I can and want a baby and I am not getting one.

I need to start getting healthy and lose weight I am going on a strict diet and am going to work out, I just need to start feeling better. Today I feel like crap not sure why just do.

Anyways I just finished my period and Evan is almost done his pills so I am going to try really hard this month to get that take home baby.

Daycare

complain complain complain??

SO I feel like all I do is come on here and complain complain and complain, I guess its a blog so I can write how I feel.

Well anyways I went to the doctor and I have a small case of pnemonia and a sinus infection.

My grandma had a heart attack on the weekend.

On Sunday we had a great visit with Evan's aunt and my hot boyfriend. Port Dover is pretty I can't wait to go back when the pool is open and go see the beach.

OMG!!

OMG
thats all I have to say! I am so upset and angry at my husbands family.

So I will try not to be long about this but here is what has happend

his younger brother Seth was in a play last night in Hamilton, we did not want to go. Evan's sister in law Kim who is married to his brother Curtis, had minor surgrey on monday and wasn't up to driving for 2 hours to watch a play at 8:30 at night. So we had said no on monday night.. So his mother has not called anyone all week, didn't even call Kim to ask how she was feeling after she knew she was in so much pain on Monday. So we knew she was mad. Well Yesterday they kept calling and making the boys feel guility into going, Curtis almost went but thats awhole other story.

So then after they made the boys feel like sh*t I called up and was very bluntful to his father and told his father they can't get everything so they have a choice, us coming last night or tonight for dinner. So I hung up on them. Curtis was upset I said some stuff but it needed to be said, I said stuff from the past with Seth living with us and how he used us and yeah how they were all blinded and he has never thanked us or anything.

So after this all Cecil called back crying and said he was so sorry. Then I made Bambi Apologize to both boys. Well Curtis decided to go behind our backs and went out there and said I was out of line and I said things I shouldn't and well made me look like the bad guy. He then got mad at Kim for telling me he went out there but she was upset with him because we were all on the same page and anyways. I am still waiting an apology from him.

To make everything worst I am so sick.. I have a 101 fever and a cold like there is no tomorrow my eyes are crying and my nose its a fountain.

Anyways today we are going to his parents to have dinner and we also have a baby shower to go to. so i hope all goes well. wish us luck!

Tomorrow we are going to Jackie's Evan's aunts I can't wait!

Our Neice is 6 month's old! Happy 6th month Larkin Ava!!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Wedding slide show for our 5th anniversary

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Frustrated

Okay why do we as women have to do everything and men just sit around.

My husband was raised in a home of 4 men and 1 women so his mom did everything for everyone being the only women. I will say she does lack on the cleaning in her house.
Evan and I have been together for 6 years he knows what I want and what I don't like. Anyways I always seem that I have to be the one to ask him to help around the house, or I have to suggest doing things.

Don't get me wrong he helps around the house in lots of areas and is great for it but I always have to tell him to do things beyond the simply things. Like help wash the bedding, wash the bath tub, I do the toilets he does the tub.

Today we were getting our passport photos done and I told him not to wear a bright shirt or white. Well he came down in a bright red shirt, I asked him to change he took out like 3 shirts and I said white, bright, no grungy looking. Well ge got mad and said well you pick so I picked a blue and brown one, he took it umm it looks bright to me. From bright yellow to a blue Not really loser!!! So I got so mad at him that he can't do a simple thing and I always have to do things and I am not his mother. I blew up big time at him and was ready to leave and spend the day away from him. I said some harsh words but to me I had to get it out I even remember apologizing for saying it but kept saying things. Like seriosuly.

We went out and stopped by my friends house I vented to her for about 5 mins then got back in the car and we talked and I said I really need you to take initiative in things and I don't want to always have to be the one to do things. Its frustrating let me tell you.

Anyways things are better! But still Men Men MEN!!!

first try

Infection!

Well Evan has an infection. But good news is he is on 6 weeks of antibotics. But a good story, a friend's friend tried for 5 years to have a baby and then her husband did the sperm test and he had an infection and they did the round of antibiotics and she got pregnant after he was done! So there is hope for me! I am happy to hear this!

Anyways this past weekend we dug out knee high snow! Crazy eh!

We also spent the weekend in the basement cleaning it and clearing all the toys out of the way. Evan got the walls up and now he mudded it! Its looking great I can't wait to put the ceiling up and paint then the floors! I am so excited for it all!!

Easter is coming soon! We are going to see Evan's aunt Jackie I love Jackie and we are going to his parents house. Shhh don't tell anyone but I love dan Jackie's husband more!

Over My head!

Ugh sometimes I wonder why I do things for people and well everything. My life is so busy I have so much things to do and just feel in the dumps all the time to tired to get stuff done.

Evan and I shared our house for almost the past year it was the roughest times and I will never do it again unless its my mom and dad lol. Anyways now we have our place back, our basement is a disaster and needs drywall, paint and floorings. I have dreams, i would love for a bathroom to be put in but its way to much work and I am cheap and don't want to pay someone for it as we are probably going to move to Toronto in the next 2 years or so.

So this weekend Evan and I need to clean the whole basement its a pigsty. I think tomorrow night we will start on it. Have a few drinks and clean the basement LOL sounds like a plan.

And then hopefully we can do that tomorrow night then Saturday if we aren't snowed in go buy the stuff for the drywall and start drywalling the walls and the ceiling.

Anyways I have taken in 5 kids total, I had a 3.5 year old start yesterday and OMG its like talking to a doorknob, I get so frustrated and so angry with him, HE WILL NOT LISTEN UNLESS I YELL AT HIM. He is so babied and ugh anyways so I need to break this, I know it won't come easy but I Can do it hopefully.

I also have an 8 month old starting with me and well he has screamed 2 out of 3 visits yesterday he did awesome, thank God!

I need to also get an Alphabet program going to work with these kids on their alphabet and I also need to make a new menu plan. I need a holiday!

Life is not easy at all! Especially when you look into the future. And I know we don't know what the future will hold but its not easy!

Today has been something

So yes this is my third post today

So Evan and I are trying to take 3 trips from this summer till next may, we are hoping to start fertility treatments in January and well we are suppose to go on a cruise in May 2009, so off we went to book it today. Its not any cruise its our friends wedding, we get to the travel agent and wouldn't you know they have cancelled the cruise and haven't told anyone not even the travel agent. Oh man!!! so I was so looking forward to the cruise and I feel so awful for Troy and Nancy, I know they will find something else but will they?? for the price, where they want to go... hmmmm so now I sit and watch facebook and see if the travel agent called them yet. I feel so awful for Nancy!

I will keep you posted

Today

Today is interesting

Evan and I moved our bedroom into the back of the house as we made the big room a den, spare/office/workout. Anyways last night I guess there was fire/police and ambulance in front of our house at 1:30am.

So we wake up this morning to a cop car sitting across the street in the neighbours drive way, well then another comes, then the forensic identification truck comes and the Canadian FBI lol. So now this place is a homicide place.

I saw my next door neighbour and asked them they said they took a baby on a stretcher I guess they had a new baby in December which was very premature and well not sure if the baby is dead or what but why would the Forensic people come if it wasn't a homicide ugh it drives me nuts! To think that this baby could be dead, My neighbour said the baby had like brain bleeding when it was borna nd stuff.

Anyways the police have finally left!

Trying to Conceive

Evan and I have been trying for a baby for over a year now and no luck yet! So I have been seeing a doctor to see if the issues I have are causing the fact that I have fertility problems.

In August I had ultrasounds and it was the worst thing, anyways I do have cysts on my ovaries but she isn't that worried about them.

Evan is now completing his side of the tests.We both go see the fertility doctor together on April 1st.

This past cycle I really thought there might be a chance we were pregnant but of course the day I was going to test, I was let down with my period ughhh. Its the worst feeling in the world. This all happend last Friday!!Well last Friday night we went to see friends and they told us they were pregnant it was soooooooo tough!!

UGHHHHHHHHHHH Why can so many people who don't want children or are so not ready to be parents and suck at it can get pregnant so easy. But for people who really want children they have to die for it!I am lucky I have a few friends who have problems so they help me through it all.