Home Sickness

So lately I have been feeling blue about home, I keep back the tears almost everyday I think about it.

I think alot of is it has to deal with what happend on Easter weekend and stuff with Evan's parents I know they say they were over it but you know his mom is not the same, maybe I said things I shouldn't but I was raised to speak up and not let people walk all over me, this is from my father not my mom she is the soft easy person. Anyways I just feel the differances between us now. And we lit the fire again saying we will not be attending Evan's cousin wedding and that was not okay.

So here is where I am missing my family, I am missing watching Larkin grow up, I am missing saying goodbye to our dear family friend who has been an aunt to me throughout my life, has always been in my life and she is on death bed. I do wish I could be in Alberta or BC and close to home.

I believe in 2 years we will try to get a job out there so we can be with my fmaily for awhile, crazy we have lived in Ontario for 4.5 years and I hated the first year so bad and I am starting to really want to go HOME!

someone posted on a board do I regret things in my past and oh man do I ever.. I regret not going back to school for another year and getting my EA and Human resource,I regret making Evan take this job with out exploring the city more, I didn't want to work right away and to that it made us move to London.

I don't regret living in London, I have made some great friends and well some friends I wish I could forget lol. I started my career and loved it hated the boss, still do! But London is only a stop before we must adventure out into the world. London is a beautiful city but its to far from the mountains and MY family. We have been here for almost 5 years so Evan's family had their share of us now time to go raise our family with my family. My family who doesn't hold grudges and do not suck in childish behavouir (Evan's brother)

Well Evan is taking his G licence as his G2 expires in January meaning when he calls me he better have good news and I will have good news with him to, I want to move home! Find a job in Calgary hunny we are moving home LOL!!!

Family and beyond

I understand that family is important but sometimes it drives me nuts. I hate driving 2 hours to go to a shower wedding or baby, to me its a waste of a weekend that I have. Well now here is the thing weddings, I do like going to weddings but I also like having freedom and being able to make plans and not feel guilty if I don't go. Evan and I had a wedding in BC and well not many came from his family so really noone can hold it against us if we choose not to go to a wedding. Evan's cousin is getting married in August but its the same week as Evan's vaction and mine and also its the week my parents will be in Thunder Bay and its also Evan and mine 5th anniversary, not to complain but we now share the week with his brother and sister law who got married on the 11th of August and now his cousin who is getting married august 9th. But its our 5th year, we want to spend it together on a trip.

We are not just going away because its our anniversary but we are going because my aunt is impressed my grandma is still alive. So to me thats upsetting that she may pass away before we get there but I pray she makes it till after so we can see her one last time.

I am pretty sure people will be upset that we aren't going to the wedding but they can deal with it. I didn't go to my brothers and I didn't go to my bestfriends and I do not regret not going to either because I had other things to do. My brothers I was newly married and well I could have went but Evan was more important at that time hahaha and my bestfriend the timing was bad. Evan's cousin timing is bad once again week we have off.

Anyways so in August we are driving to Thunder Bay for a week! I am excited.

New York City!

New York City

New york city is an amzing place! We had so much fun and well it would be a city I would probably live in, I would rather live in NYC then Toronto.
Our Trip
We got toCarlstadt/Newark NJ at 4am where we checked into our Econo Lodge Hotel not even a block away there was a bus stop. The hotel was okay it was $100 a night you get what you pay for, the floors were dirty and the bath tub was also dirty but we cleaned it out and put a towel down to shower. It was a good place to stay the beds felt nice and clean. We slept for 5 hours and got up and went on the bus to the city.
Well we didn’t really have a plan, we wanted to see broadway (grease) and we wanted to see central park, time square, ground zero and statue of liberty. We got off the bus at the bus terminal and walked downstairs to the front and the big New York times was right there. We then looked at eachother and said where do we go now! If going to NYC have a map and have a plan line out.
We started walking to broadway and we got to the Red lobster looked around saw time square down the block and decided we didn’t want to seat for a 2 hour show we wanted to get and explore NYC. There was a man dressed in a red jacket you will find 2 on every corner almost to harass you to buy a bus ticket with grey line to travel the city. For $50 a person we got to see all of NYC, its the best deal you could ever ask for!

So the first day we walked down to Time square ate at the hard rock cafe and then went on a tour of the city. We went downtown first, where we saw China Town its huge! Then we got off at ground zero its all construction right now a hole in the ground. After looking at ground zero and eating a pretzle we walked to battery park man its a loooooooooooooong walk and that is where we saw the famous satue of liberty. If you think she is really big and that you should be able to see her clear from NYC you are only kidding yourself and are in for a big dissapointment. We took pictures and then walked to catch the bus, noone wanted to get off the bus so we had to sit under (Its a double decker tour bus). On the way we saw an Indian restraunt and there are one set of stairs and at the top are 3 men and one at the bottom they are best of friends until a person comes, the man on the bottom is trying to get you to come to his restraunt and if you go up those stairs then its the 3 people at the top job to steal you for their restraunt. Right down the road from this was Coyote Ugly, I would love to have seen the inside bar.
We got back to Time square where we bought chocolate at the Hershey chocolate factory and went into the larget M&M store. We then went and ate at Bubba Gumps it was awesome and our server was so funny his name is Alex. We then walked around more and then headed back to NJ for a goodnight sleep.

2nd day we got up earlier and caught the 9am bus and got in to NYC in time to go do the Uptown tour to see Harlem and to see all central park from the outside. Its so beautiful up there. We then got off at central park on 5th where we looked at central park and then walked to 5th ave to see the apple store, its a big glass box with a glass elevator in it, you go underground. We then went to FAO Schwarz amazing toy store! And it has a piano that you can dance on like the movie Big, I had the pleasure of dancing on it. We then walked down to Trump Towers and Tiffany’s I want a ring so bad from there! We then kept on to the disney store and then we were looking for Nintendo world. By now its pouring buckets of rain we bought an umbrella off the guy on the street for $10, we continue to walk in a circle to find it, we were told it was by NBC studios and Rockafeller place, but as we were walking to this there was an accident not sure if the guy lost control of his car or he had a heart attack but went through the gardens at Rockefeller place and so the street was blocked by tons of police and fire.(Update- the lady was driving and went into labour it made her lose control of her car) We got to Nintendo world and Evan played Wii Fit, tomorrow we will go buy it. We then walked over to Build a bear its the worlds largest. We built our I love NY bear Yanks! We then walked back to Time square and ate at the olive garden and had some drinks. We also saw the worlds largest toys R us with a ferris wheel in the middle. After dinner we went to the night tour of NYC it was still light but the sun was going down, we went over the manhattan brige to Brooklyn did a tour there and came back. We then went and ate pizza it was alright crust was a bit to crisp and then we walked down to buy gifts. We got back to the bus station at 9:00 to head back to NJ.
That was our time in NYC....
If I was to go back I would either stay in NYC the last night or the whole time
I would write down everything I wanted to see and write down the address’s
Do not use a GPS it gets you lost in the city
I would eat at little restraunts
I would go to China town and over to see Little Italy
I would do a bus tour again
And the number one thing
NEVER DRIVE IN NYC!

I would recommend New York City to anyone!

used

Have you ever felt that you are being used???

I have 3 different friends and I am done with it.

1- I use to babysit, drive her to work and everything and hung out. Now that I quit she only calls me if she wants something, she never calls to see how its going its frustrating.

2- I offered to babysit my one friends baby and would work with her schedual so this would have been may but her controlling husband wanted to take her to a place where his youngest brother went 10 years ago. Well she called me yesterday as she feels her daughter is being neglected and is left in the high chair as the lady is upstairs and she is down stairs. So I offered to take her once again but now the issue is we drive to some place once a week to a special park or to a friends house for a play date. Her controlling husband is soooooooo against her driving with me so he said no, so they are taking her back to this ladies house. I am done don't ask again and your daughter can't live in a bubble all the time.

3- last friend who is a close friend and I understand but it makes me so mad when people do this... She is going to be 30 and we hang out lots well I set her up with a guy last fall and she basically threw me on the back burner and then it didn't work out so I was once again on the front burner well now she has been talking to this other guy and noooooooooooooooooooow back burner again. I am not going to play these games.

So for now I am stopping talking to all 3 unless they initiate it, I am truely done with it all. I feel like I am used way to much in life.

I don't truely care about having friends, yes its nice to go out but we have a small group with our church we meet weekly, Evan has baseball so we socialize that way. We work at the church so we talk that way also. And I do have the true friends that I hang out with. Yeah these 3 were ture friends once too. sigh!

So that is my life. Oh yeah I am having another hard case of home sickness I want to move to Calgary and be close to my family. I think its time we have been here 4.5 years its time for a change maybe in 2 years.

YAHOOO

So I got a new lap top! Its a nice one I like it, Evan is great!

Next weekend we are going to New York City!! Yahoo I am so excited it will be great to get away!

Other then that nothing new!

Ugh Laptop!

Watch out for the laptop!

So today I had put the laptop on the couch, Evan went and closed it and left it but had moved it more to the edge of the couch, well Howie came and jumped on the laptop scratched Evan to while I yelled grab and Evan yelled as Howie scratched him.. So my laptop landed on the side where the plug is great no big deal.......... BUT IT IS!! You know How the laptop is a male and has a penis and the plug is a girl and has a vagina well not anymore the laptop is also a women :( the plug is broken. So I am going to take it in tomorrow to see if they can fix it. I am so sad. But if not and if they charge me then I will buy a new one there is a sweet one on sale right now at Future shop.

Thank goodness for a desktop computer even though it sucks!

So that is what happend today

Life really sucks at times!

So today is a bad day for my family my moms bestfriend is going to the paliet care in the hospital and won't be coming home unless God gives her a miricle and heals her body from all the cancer if not she will probably pass with in the next month. Its really upsetting to all of us and I really don't get to say goodbye as I live so far away its so tough.


But on goodnews my uncle had a quad by pass on monday, Evan and I are going to Hamilton at 4 today to visit him and go for dinner as its my cousins birthday. My uncle is doing well but hasn't bounced back he is doing slower then when my dad had his surgrey.

The last couple of weeks I feel so blah just I want to puke if I don't eat and I am so tired. And I have to work all weekend booooo...

Anyways thats all for now