Don't get your hopes up

Well thats what I keep hearing from Evan, from my last post well stuff has happend its kinda funny actually a few days after I posted how much I missed home a Job came up in my home town for Evan WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING????!?!?!?!?! An IT at the Mine not requiring 5 years experince in IT is up seriosuly?!?!?!?!

So I am trying hard not to get my hopes up but the Resume was sent lastnight and the deadline is July 7th..

OMG this means packing,moving,selling a house ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay see getting way ahead of myself now.... But I told a friend the other day and this friend is on Matleave and said she would take all my kids if we did move :0 seriosuly!!! Is God giving me this choice... I dunno..

So I sit here and pray that Evan gets the job, I am ready to move home to be with my family and to work my butt off and lose weight then start a family together. If I have to adopt thats fine but I would have the family close to support us.

Don't get your hopes up, well my parents so want us to come home which is a first..

So if by any small chance Evan gets this job then we will....

Evan would go in 2 weeks and my dad would come live with me until we sold the house.

Have a big garage sale and sale everything... start off fresh in BC in a year or so

Move in with my parents for awhile to save a down payment for ahouse

See hopes are flying I want to go home... will I be dissapointed yes a little its like seeing a Big Fat negative on a pregnancy test... Evan has all the experince and stuff they want, but I am a girl to and I have ovaries and I still can't have a baby.... so I do understand this cycle.

If you woul likes to pray for us that Evan would get this job if God's will. My heart is leading home again which it hasn't for a very long time so I dunno where we stand!

I will keep everyone posted.

Random thoughts

Have you ever found yourself trying to tell a totally different friend about something in your life and you think they should know all about it?

That is me, 5 years ago I got married to a wonderful man and well we had to move across Canada 40 hours away so I did leave alot of my life behind back home. I have a few true friends still and there is one that we are true but time change and everything we don't talk enough.. i finally got her to join facebook, anyways this friend and me have been friends for a long time and I still have her wedding present on my wall that says on it B.F.F are we?? Its a tough call why because when I was in the 12th Grade she lived with a dear friend who let her work for her and anyways brought in a male and my friend and this male started a relationship well this male was nothing but trouble stole, drugs...everything. She finally ended it thank god! I had a feeling to call her mom one night and she was there we talked hung out and then started to hang more and more but then I moved home 2 hours away.. then I moved 42 hours away from her.. I still consider her my good friend. I was talking to her yesterday and I was like yeah so you know Callista, I have her all summer. I had to stop and say wait she doesn't know Callista she doesn't know any of my *NEW* life.

It really makes me sad that I can't introduce my friends to my friends and that I live so far away.

In Highschool I had a best guy friend Matthew I liked him but my bestfriend (still my bestfriend to this day) loved him and dated him but screwed it up big time in grade 12 and well we haven't seen him since grad, he just had a baby girl I am happy for him but would love to see him and hear from him. I talked to him in 2004 that was the last time when I moved to Ontario.

Now for my two bestfriends well one has 3 kids and the other just got married, we have all stayed in contact not lots but we have, but I still feel like I have lost alot of my life not being close by them. My one bestfriend has had two babies I never got to see her pregnant never got to be there to see her give birth I am never around.

Then there is my brother well he is 6 years older then me and he live in nova Scotia for all his life until last may when my parents were talking about retiring and moving out here well he wrecked that and moved home and has a baby girl. I have seen her once and that was all.

IT SUCKS! I do like my life in Ontario I have met friends, close ones and ones that you think are your friends then stab you in the back. It sucks I had to give up my friends to get new ones but thats okay.

the number 1 thing that sucks I can't hop in my car and drive home it takes 40 hours.

I always get to the breaking point where I want to move home, but then I would start all over again.

We use to be close to Evan's family but I don't even find that anymore we hardly talk to any of them even his aunts who I use to talk to all the time not at all anymore. We went back to wainfleet this past weekend and the last time I saw all his aunts and Grandparents was last august, we saw his parents at Easter when all Hell broke lose but there isn't a connection anymore. I see them once a year and I lvie 2 hours away I might as well move to BC and I will see them once a year. hmmm oh the joys I dunno Evan looks for Jobs In Calgary at times. maybe one day we can more home!

Until that day here I am in Ontario making new friends and making a life I am sure I will have to leave one day.

RIP Marie

Today our family friend passed away, Marie was my moms best buddy and was like an aunt to me. She has always been apart of our family and we spent many of times together. Its going to be very hard to go home from now on and know Marie is not there anymore. I always looked forward to seeing Marie, we always had the best parties at her house. Marie is going to be missed by so many people, she had a heart of Gold for everyone. Marie accepted christ into her life on Monday and the good Lord took her home today. Marie has been suffering from Cancer for the past 2 years and I am glad that the Lord finally came to take her as she was in so much pain these last few months.

Marie I hope you enjoy the time in Heaven with Patti, I will miss you Marie love always XOXOXOXOXOXO

Marie September 8th 1955- June 12th 2008
Forever in our hearts

Home Sickness

So lately I have been feeling blue about home, I keep back the tears almost everyday I think about it.

I think alot of is it has to deal with what happend on Easter weekend and stuff with Evan's parents I know they say they were over it but you know his mom is not the same, maybe I said things I shouldn't but I was raised to speak up and not let people walk all over me, this is from my father not my mom she is the soft easy person. Anyways I just feel the differances between us now. And we lit the fire again saying we will not be attending Evan's cousin wedding and that was not okay.

So here is where I am missing my family, I am missing watching Larkin grow up, I am missing saying goodbye to our dear family friend who has been an aunt to me throughout my life, has always been in my life and she is on death bed. I do wish I could be in Alberta or BC and close to home.

I believe in 2 years we will try to get a job out there so we can be with my fmaily for awhile, crazy we have lived in Ontario for 4.5 years and I hated the first year so bad and I am starting to really want to go HOME!

someone posted on a board do I regret things in my past and oh man do I ever.. I regret not going back to school for another year and getting my EA and Human resource,I regret making Evan take this job with out exploring the city more, I didn't want to work right away and to that it made us move to London.

I don't regret living in London, I have made some great friends and well some friends I wish I could forget lol. I started my career and loved it hated the boss, still do! But London is only a stop before we must adventure out into the world. London is a beautiful city but its to far from the mountains and MY family. We have been here for almost 5 years so Evan's family had their share of us now time to go raise our family with my family. My family who doesn't hold grudges and do not suck in childish behavouir (Evan's brother)

Well Evan is taking his G licence as his G2 expires in January meaning when he calls me he better have good news and I will have good news with him to, I want to move home! Find a job in Calgary hunny we are moving home LOL!!!

Family and beyond

I understand that family is important but sometimes it drives me nuts. I hate driving 2 hours to go to a shower wedding or baby, to me its a waste of a weekend that I have. Well now here is the thing weddings, I do like going to weddings but I also like having freedom and being able to make plans and not feel guilty if I don't go. Evan and I had a wedding in BC and well not many came from his family so really noone can hold it against us if we choose not to go to a wedding. Evan's cousin is getting married in August but its the same week as Evan's vaction and mine and also its the week my parents will be in Thunder Bay and its also Evan and mine 5th anniversary, not to complain but we now share the week with his brother and sister law who got married on the 11th of August and now his cousin who is getting married august 9th. But its our 5th year, we want to spend it together on a trip.

We are not just going away because its our anniversary but we are going because my aunt is impressed my grandma is still alive. So to me thats upsetting that she may pass away before we get there but I pray she makes it till after so we can see her one last time.

I am pretty sure people will be upset that we aren't going to the wedding but they can deal with it. I didn't go to my brothers and I didn't go to my bestfriends and I do not regret not going to either because I had other things to do. My brothers I was newly married and well I could have went but Evan was more important at that time hahaha and my bestfriend the timing was bad. Evan's cousin timing is bad once again week we have off.

Anyways so in August we are driving to Thunder Bay for a week! I am excited.